Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Is this a SUMMARY OF YOUR LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER, too?

Is this a SUMMARY OF YOUR LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER, too?
SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on Envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that Needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) Who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 That Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in th eir Special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out For me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant Freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water Buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward An email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove Toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car So a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these Products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave Anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones or newspaper stands, because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS . I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume Sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number For which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda < /st1:country-region>, Singapore And Uzbekistan I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their Recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it Bites my butt. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in a parking lot Because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my Car to grab my leg. I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas Companies! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 Minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this Afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to Grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a Friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's' beautician... Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way..... A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has Discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail With their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late
Jokes & Riddles - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Oh my!!!!!!!!(am I the only one who took the time to read this to the end?)
2 :
lol! thats a good one!
3 :
lol
4 :
LOL XD
5 :
Is this a SUMMARY OF YOUR LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER, too? SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on Envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that Needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) Who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 That Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in th eir Special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out For me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant Freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water Buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward An email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove Toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car So a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these Products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave Anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones or newspaper stands, because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS . I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume Sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number For which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda < /st1:country-region>, Singapore And Uzbekistan I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their Recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it Bites my butt. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in a parking lot Because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my Car to grab my leg. I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas Companies! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 Minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this Afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to Grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a Friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's' beautician... Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way..... A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has Discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail With their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late




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