Monday, April 28, 2014

Actual Signs. Worth a star?

Actual Signs. Worth a star?
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands. At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment. At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory? At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner. At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel. At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak. At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container. At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout. At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows. At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition. At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist. Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs. Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet....Miss a car payment. Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted. Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose? English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating. Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear! These are actually real! If you liked these check out my other jokes today! Thanks!
Jokes & Riddles - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
hahaha
2 :
Haha, good joke!
3 :
thats funny
4 :
I like the last one!
5 :
Those are great!! You get a star!!
6 :
lol
7 :
LOL. This is a great post! LOL. Kudos! 10* Thanks for the laughs!
8 :
The sign outside of our Planned Parenthood building actually says "Please use rear entrance". I don't know if anybody has ever pointed it out to them. If so, they have never bothered to change it.
9 :
lol
10 :
F u n n y !!!!
11 :
lol
12 :
Not to get on my feminine side but it's cute
13 :
you know how the often name office buildings? well, one that i know of in Arlington, TX is called "Ima Building"
14 :
all good..
15 :
very funny but........ this guy came up to me the other day whilst i was working in the hardware store and said "you look like i know you. have i seen your face somewhere else" don't think so" i replied "as far as i know it's always been here on the front of my head".
16 :
Good ones !
17 :
thats funny but i know its true seen some crazy ones myself lol
18 :
lol



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